Some people seem to be born with self-confidence, while others struggle with it almost their whole life. And to be honest, I belonged to that last group. At least, I did.
Over the years my insecurity started to bother me more and more. Not only socially, but I noticed that it worked against me in my career as well.
I’ve always been someone who wants to reach her maximum potential, so I knew something had to change.
That’s the moment I decided to work on my self-confidence. Still, I won’t say that I’m the most confident person in a group. Certainly not. But I am already much more confident than I was years ago.
That didn’t happen overnight, definitely not. Over the past few years I have worked hard on building my self-confidence to the level it is right now.
It is already much better than years ago, but sometimes it can still be a challenge for me. Building your self-confidence is not something you do once. It’s a never ending process, with trial and error.
You have to invest time, energy and effort in it. But once you notice the change in yourself, you know it’s all worth it.
Feeling confident is priceless, and I wish you that too! I therefore hope that with this article I can help you find your way to self-confidence, just as I did.
What is self-confidence?
When you search for the definition of self-confidence, you will find that the core of the definition is that you believe in yourself and your abilities. By having faith in yourself as a person, your talents, and your knowledge, self-confidence fuels your motivation and enables you to overcome any kind of obstacles.
The difference with self-esteem
Self-confidence and self-esteem are two words that are often used together or are mixed with each other. And where they certainly have an overlap, they are not the same.
As you have read above, self-confidence is all about believing in yourself. While self-esteem emphasizes to appreciate and value yourself.
Why work on self-confidence
Although not everyone is born with self-confidence, anyone can have it. You just need to be willing to invest time and energy in it. Something definitely worth it if you ask me.
By increasing your confidence, you will notice that your inner critical voice becomes much softer and less present. And I wish that for everyone because this critical voice can take a lot of energy and make you feel bad about yourself.
In addition, there are many more benefits why you want to increase your confidence. These can be divided into three categories.
- Empowerment and personal fulfillment: with the belief in yourself, you experience the power to chase your dreams and live the life you want. You dare to take more risks, step outside your comfort zone and embrace new opportunities.
- Improve relationships: confidence works like a magnet, it attracts positive people and relationships into your life. By believing in yourself, you radiate positivity, which in turn encourages others to believe in you as well. Strong self-confidence can therefore lead to healthier and more meaningful connections with others.
- Enhance career opportunities: self-confidence is a game-changer in the professional world. It positions you as a competent and influential person and makes room for career development and new opportunities. When you have confidence it’s easier to make yourself heard in meetings, negotiate effectively, help others, and demonstrate your skills.
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7 Ways to boost your confidence
Now that you came this far in reading this article, you probably also want to know how to boost your confidence. There are many ways to do this.
Of course, it varies per person what works best, but these are my favorite ways to boost your self-confidence.
- Set realistic goals
- Expand your knowledge and skills
- Surround yourself with supportive people
- Face your fears
- Practice positive body language
- Practice self-compassion
- Celebrate your achievements
1. Set realistic goals
Nothing is more discouraging than striving for unattainable goals. The chance that these won’t be achieved is very high, and will therefore only cause your confidence to decrease.
Somake sure you set realistic goals, which you can then break down into manageable steps. With each step you take, you build a sense of accomplishment and strengthen your belief in your own capabilities.
2. Expand your knowledge and skills
Learning new things is one of the biggest confidence boosters. You can expand your knowledge but also learn new skills that match your interests or career ambitions.
You can also choose to learn something that you find difficult. Consider, for example, a presentation workshop, if you feel insecure when you have to present or say something in a meeting.
By improving these skills, you boost your confidence, which makes you much more comfortable giving that presentation next time.
3. Surround yourself with supportive people
Surrounding yourself with positive, supportive people who believe in you can have a big impact on your confidence. Find mentors, friends, or communities that uplift and encourage your personal growth.
This could be by complimenting you or providing you with positive feedback, but also by simply being their positive confident self.
We, humans, copy the behavior and attitudes of others. So surrounding yourself with people who are like you would like to be, will have a positive influence on your development.
4. Face your fears
Challenge yourself by stepping out of your comfort zone. Faced with your fears is something scary and intimidating. But when you do it helps you build resilience and confidence.
You don’t have to go all in immediately. Start with small steps outside your comfort zone and keep going a little further.
After overcoming a fear, no matter how small, you will experience pride in yourself. This will help you to build a sense of confidence and courage.
5. Practice positive body language
Your body language speaks about your confidence. Insecure people often make themselves very small with their bodies – they try to be invisible.
People see this directly and unintentionally form an image of you as a person. By making your posture more powerful, you will be seen as a more confident person.
Stand up straight, maintain good posture, make eye contact, and listen actively. Practice open and confident body language, such as not crossing your arms.
It’s good to know that your posture also affects yourself. Try it for yourself: stand in front of a mirror and see how you feel when you drop your shoulders and bend your neck, versus an active posture where you’re standing straight.
When you are in a situation where you could use more confidence, be extra aware of your posture.
6. Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion is an important part of building self-confidence. Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and forgiveness, and allow yourself to learn from setbacks and mistakes.
Nobody’s perfect. Even the most confident people on earth still make mistakes. Maybe even more than others, because they dare to learn and know that this doesn’t affect their qualities.
Self-compassion creates a safe space for personal growth and encourages self-confidence.
7. Celebrate your achievements
Not only achieving goals and stepping out of your comfort zone boost your confidence. It is important and helpful to celebrate these victories, no matter how small, and consciously reflect on what you have achieved.
In addition to boosting your confidence, it also encourages you to do something new or scary more often.
Bonus tip: ask a professional for help
When you experience that your low self-confidence affects your life too much and you can’t get out of it yourself, ask for help from a professional. They can help you identify underlying issues, develop strategies tailored to your specific needs, and provide guidance to boost your confidence.
This is nothing to be ashamed of, not at all! In fact, if you ask me, I believe it’s good for everyone to talk to a therapist or coach every now and then.
It shows strength and the willingness to work on yourself to become a better version of yourself every day.
As much as we’d like it, boosting your self-confidence doesn’t happen overnight. You have to work hard for it and invest time and commitment, but it can change your life and help you to rise above yourself. And remember, every step you take brings you closer to becoming the confident, resilient woman you want to be.
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