To be honest, life has been tough lately. Not only the realization that I’ve been sick for over a year, but my fear of rejection is increasing. And yes, that stresses me out – which is of course not helpful to my PCS recovery…
In the past six months, I have spoken to dozens of recruiters and companies. So far, they have all just ended in rejections.
Many of them were related to my situation. Until a week ago I was not able to sit behind a laptop all day, let alone work full time.
And yes, of course, I understand that it’s not the ideal situation for an employer. But I know myself. I am loyal, work hard, and always strive for the maximum potential.
I just need one company that gives me the confidence to want to work with me.
And the great thing is, in the Netherlands, there is even a safety net that makes it beneficial for companies to hire someone like me – someone sick. But everyone saw it as a risk.
They preferred to wait for someone who could start full-time in two months, rather than choosing me while I could start immediately. Is it in adjusted hours, in those two months I would already be able to expand those hours and fully settled.
Initially, I told recruiters and hiring managers immediately about my situation when submitting my application. But after all these rejections, I started to put that off until the first interview actually took place.
As a result, I got to sit down for a job interview at every company I applied to, but despite people being enthusiastic I still got the most vague rejections. Even reasons that conflicted with the conversations that I have had.
Can we assume the rejections were related to my situation? Big chance! Especially because I was always told that my personality appealed to them and they were enthusiastic about my work experience.
And if it really had nothing to do with my situation, then I turned out to be overqualified or missed some specific experiences. Which of course is very logical, that’s part of it.
But I’m so tired of it by now. How many hours I have put into submitting an application, preparing for an interview, and then anxiously waiting for feedback. I’ve lost count… And then I haven’t even mentioned the travel costs to get to all these interviews…
I’m not someone who gives up easily, but the fear of rejection is very real at this moment.
Every time I see a nice vacancy, the doubts strike. Is it worth it to put my time and energy into this again? Doesn’t it result in another disappointment?
But I love the marketing profession. After being out of work for more than a year, I want nothing more than to get back to work. So no matter how hard it is sometimes, I don’t give up!
Fortunately, I’m also getting better every week, which also makes the job hunt easier. There comes a point where I don’t even have to mention being sick anymore. And I’m really looking forward to that!
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